It's not going to be pretty - the last time I played golf was for Ash's stag do - I have vague memories of hiding in an alleyway at 9pm, throwing my guts up, and that was back in the days when I could still actually drink (I think the 3 under par at the par 3 Fado's at 4 in the afternoon was the cause - that and of course the obligatory dodgy pint I must have had). Happy Times.......
Neil/Lance/Tonks Chunderfest 2007
Buy In: Mandatory $5 buy-in, winner takes all.
Scoring: Upon arrival you’ll be assigned the person for whom you keep score, you won’t score yourself because most of you are cheating fookers.
Location: Golden Triangle
6pm Cap City (optional for eats)
7pm Cap City (kick-off)
o ‘Mandatory Par 3’ hole: No one leaves until everyone’s had 3
o 7:40 Boat Race: Optional necking contest. All players get a stroke for their drink (standard pints only) just for playing. Winner gets triple strokes. (Beer = 3 strokes, Car bomb = 9 stokes)
8pm Bannock Street Garage
o Par 2
o ‘No One Drinks’ hole: No one can drink until Neil/Lance/Tonks have finished their first.
o Rule: Finish every sentence with “and neil/lance/tonks is a twat” (or similar), no points for the current drink if rule broken.
8:45pm Left on Lincoln
o Par 2
o Bonus: Every drink over par is double the strokes.
o 9:15pm Boat Race for triple points.
9:30pm Nine 75
o Par 2
o ‘Known Wanker Bar’ rule: Upon finishing drink must say “and look at that wanker over there with that complete hosebeast pog”, or the drink is not counted to your total.
10:15pm Charlie Brown’s Bar and Grill
o Par 3
o Bonus: Already a par 3, every drink under par is triple the strokes.
o Bonus: Stand on a chair and attempt a joke. Best joke gets 4 points.
o Bonus: Stand on a chair and drop your trousers. + 1 points, once per player. And singing along with the music. + 2 points, once per player.
11pm Govnr’s Park
o Par 2
o ‘F***ing’ hole: Caught saying the word ‘f***’, finish current drink. Still counts to your total.
o ‘Pissheads’ rule: Subtract stroke for every piss.
11:45pm Funky Buddha
o No rules.
General
o 1 point for every time Neil/Lance/Tonks chunders, if they are drinking something you bought them.
o 1 point standard drink (including shots) = 1 stroke
o Combo drinks (car bomb) = 3 strokes
